On Faith

Faith is one of those tricky subjects for me. When it comes to faith, I often find the focus/object of my attention and affections misguided. I suppose it is no small surprise give that I am inclined toward egocentrism and that such a self-centered focus is consistently reinforced by what is often propped up as modern examples of what it means to be a successful Christian. I am not a very good example to be sure. I do not speak loudly with confident assertions about what God will do. I am often burdened with the pains of this life and do not always respond with cheer. At times, I am not sure how to even pray, since I know not what an answered prayer might result in, either for good or evil (insert Garth Brook's song "Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers"). Yet, I am constantly working through this life of faith trying to keep myself focused in the right direction, trying to be faithful in my dependence.

Faith is uncomfortable in many ways for me because, its very nature requires that we are in a waiting period. We wait for the coming of the Lord (Titus 2:11-14). We wait for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body (Romans 8:18-25). We wait for new heavens and a new earth (2 Peter 3:10-18).

And of course, in all of these and many other things, we exist in a period of lack, not having what is promised (Hebrews 11:39-40). I think this part is so hard. I want to see people healed in body, mind, and spirit. I want evil to be more than restrained, but to be contained. I want to see peace and righteousness prevail. I know on a mental plan that we live in this weird in-between state of the "now and the not yet," but the desires arise for the "not yet" to be realized "now" and this plays havoc with my faith at times.

Faith, what is it? I have to keep coming back to the notion that it is confidence, trust, putting my weight on/in an object or person. In particular, I have to keep putting my weight and hope on the God who has made promises. I am left with submitting my desires to God, putting all of my hope in his character. Trusting that He knows, He sees, He cares, He can and does do all things good.

This is easy to say, but hard to do. I am constantly at battle with the temporal, the visible, that which I can experience in the here and now. How hard it is to live in the middle between the now and what I cannot know about the future. I fall back on the biblical testimony - to what I have known and experienced, to what others have experienced and testified to throughout history. I lean on the temporal, physical, living community of God who demonstrates God's love, testifies to his faithfulness, and comes along side me in my walk of faith. I am constantly having to refocus my attention and affections to the One who is faithful, and praying come quickly LORD.